Going to See a Volcano

I'm going on vacation to Mexico and writing this on Monday night before leaving. There are many things to do before leaving, but I'm doing okay and feeling free as I write this.

Excitement is starting to build. Vacations breed a feeling of freedom, and it can become intoxicating. In my case, there is the freedom to get up when I want, freedom from my ever-important schedule, and most importantly, time to spend with Gabriel in long patches, to the point where we could quickly get tired of seeing each other, but it does not seem to happen.

Another aspect of this vacation is that I am going to Puebla, Mexico. This is Gabriel’s hometown, or at least the city closest to his hometown. It is a city of 3 million people, and Popocatepetl is nearby. It is an active volcano, currently spitting out smoke and ash, so I might be wearing a mask while I am down there! It's been smoking on and off for a long time, so I am not particularly worried about it.

While we are there, we will visit Gabriel’s family. His mother is 85 and a small woman, which reminds me of my own mother in some ways. She does not speak English, but we get by with a small amount of Spanish and many gestures. She is quiet, kind, and patient. My mother was often kind toward people, although she was rarely quiet.

So, as I sit in the feeling of freedom and anticipation, my thoughts return to the volcano. I have always been fascinated with volcanos, especially since Mt. St. Helens erupted with such devastation in the Northwest in 1980. I used to identify with volcanos from the perspective that, just like a volcano, I would simmer, erupt violently, and then be calm again for a while. In my young adult years, I used to congratulate myself on this methodology. Since I was emotionally shut down, my experience was of being mad for a short time. I did not realize the impact on the people around me, both the explosion and especially the quiet anticipation of the explosion that came before it. I was not doing anyone any favors by not dealing with my stuff more maturely.

So right now, Popocatepetl is in puffing ash and steam. While it is a bit noxious, if that is what it needs to do to deal with its internal pressures, then I am all for it. In the same way, I know we can be a little obnoxious when dealing with our stuff. We can be angry, needy, or want to talk for long hours. I think this is just fine, rather than letting the alternatives play out. Sometimes, a little huffing and puffing is precisely what is needed to become aware of the pressures that have been building up inside.

So, a volcano vacation it is for me! While I am gone, I invite you to have fun and maybe vent some of that internal pressure. I look forward to talking to you when I get back. Namaste.